In our journey of life, adolescence is a period full of challenges and transformations. At this stage, individuals undergo significant changes both psychologically and physiologically, while also exploring their own identity and values. However, the pain and confusion experienced by many young people during their growth process are often closely related to family relationships, especially interactions with parents. This phenomenon has prompted people to ponder: what kind of impact do the so-called “parents” have on young people?
1、 Parents’ expectations and young people’s pressure
In Chinese culture, parents usually have very high expectations for their children. From childhood to adulthood, parents often place their wishes and ideals on their children, hoping that they can achieve excellent academic results, be admitted to prestigious schools, and have a bright future. This expectation sometimes translates into heavy pressure, and when children cannot meet their parents’ expectations, they may feel inner loss, anxiety, and even self blame.
For example, an ordinary high school student may choose to attend various tutoring classes, interest classes, or even give up their favorite sports or arts just to achieve higher scores because of the high expectations their parents have for them. However, the long-term utilitarian orientation and sustained academic pressure not only make children exhausted, but also gradually stifle their enthusiasm for learning. This result has turned education into an endless competition, and the pressure children face in every exam is a reflection of their parents’ expectations of them.
2、 Emotional apathy and communication barriers
In traditional Chinese families, especially in the previous generation, many parents tend to be more reserved and less open in expressing emotions. They are usually not good at expressing care and love for children, and tend to teach them in a commanding way. Such parent-child relationships may lead young people to feel neglected and even believe that their parents do not understand them.
In this situation, there are often serious communication barriers between parents and children. For example, many young people often choose to confide in friends instead of seeking help from their parents when they encounter difficulties or crises. Over time, this lack of communication will deepen the barriers between family members, leading children to feel emotionally lonely and helpless. In their minds, parents are not only representatives of authority, but also the ones who lack understanding and care. How can such emotional indifference not have a negative impact on the mental health of young people?
3、 The Conflict of Educational Concepts
With the progress of society and the development of technology, educational concepts have also undergone profound changes. Most young people aspire to have more autonomy and choice, and they hope to pursue their interests and dreams. However, many parents are still constrained by traditional educational ideas and tend to impose strict rules and standards on their children’s lives.
This conflict of ideas can exacerbate the anxiety of young people. They are often forced to find a balance between their parents’ expectations and personal desires. For example, a child hopes to become an artist, but their parents insist that they should take a more “safe” path, such as becoming a doctor or engineer. Such intangible pressure may make children feel confused between their dreams and responsibilities, and even ultimately choose to comply with their parents’ wishes to give up their pursuit.
4、 Family Environment and Mental Health
The family environment plays an important role in a person’s growth process. For many young people, family is their first classroom for understanding the world. Children who grow up in a family full of conflicts, arguments, and pressure often develop negative cognitive patterns and habits of avoiding problems. This environment is likely to make them more vulnerable and bear greater psychological burdens when facing setbacks in life.
Numerous studies have shown that the influence of family environment is not limited to childhood, but also has a profound impact on mental health in adulthood. Long term exposure to disharmonious family relationships may lead young people to develop psychological problems such as inferiority, anxiety, and lack of confidence, which can accompany them throughout their lives and affect their career choices, interpersonal relationships, and even intimate relationships.
5、 How to improve the relationship between parents and young people
How can we improve the complex relationship between parents and young people? Firstly, parents need to recognize that their children’s growth and self discovery are independent processes, and their responsibility is to support and guide them, rather than unilaterally exerting pressure. Establishing open and equal communication channels to provide children with space to express themselves is an important step in improving parent-child relationships.
Secondly, parents can try to understand their children’s interests and hobbies, giving them more freedom and trust. For example, encouraging children to explore their interests, whether it’s music, art, or science, can not only help them discover their potential but also boost their confidence. At the same time, parents can also enhance mutual understanding and feelings by participating in their children’s activities.
Finally, the family is a place for learning and growth, and parents may be able to enhance their educational philosophy and skills by participating in parent-child communication courses or family therapy, thereby helping their children grow better.
6、 Conclusion
The pain and struggle of young people are often closely linked to the influence of their parents unintentionally. Family is an indispensable part of everyone’s growth process, and a healthy parent-child relationship can provide solid support and strength for children. As parents, we not only need to shoulder expectations and responsibilities, but also understand our children’s inner world and face the challenges of life together with them. Only in this way can young people experience less pain and more understanding and care on their path of growth.
